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Those bloody British Refs!
Those bloody British Refs!
((Is this the best of british!?!)

Derek Bevan (Wales)
ABs vs. Wallabies,
Eden Park Ages ago

Tapa Henning is on the side line whist that wally gets to be Ref. Truly life is unfair!

Lets just say that the first 20 was so good because the ABs were so awesome, there was little to blow the whistle about.

Mr. Bevan (I use this term of respect begrudgingly) has three levels of advantage:

  1. I going to penalize you, but I have a advantage quota that I have to meet, so I will signal advantage for 2 seconds before giving a penalty.
  2. I have just spotted the most obscure reason ever to blow the whistle, and I bet that you can't guess what it is in the 5 second before I award a penalty!
  3. I'm actually playing advantage, but I'm not going to signal it, as that would;
    • (a) have an unfair demoralizing effect on the other side,
    • (b) make you think that I know what I am doing,
    • and (c) I'm the Ref and I don't have to explain myself to the likes of you!!

The second thing to remember about Derek Bevan, is don't ever play Trivial Pursuit against him. You can see from his rulings that he is a supreme trivial buff. (You can bet that he knows that a trailer parked on the sideline delayed play in the Super 12 Final this year!)

The guy has the most incredible arrogance. Standing like a miniature Statue of Liberty, 10 metres from the Australian line, ignoring the Australian captain until he went away.

If we could just talk about the Australian team for a moment, I thought that the shot of the Aussie bench snuggling under blankies was particularly staunch, and that the huge tee that Matt Burke used for the second half kickoff, must have given him almost as much air under the ball as a good punt!

And those computerised bill-board adverts, they were less than subtle. I hope that overseas audiences weren't subjected to them.

However this column is about the Excuses of Referees from Britain. In the end there were lots of reasons for disliking Mr. Bevan and very little reason to like him, except that he is marginally better than our next contestant.

Ed Morrison (Eng)
ABs vs. South Africa Pretoria,
7th August

Ok SG calm yourself, remember "Harsh but fair!" This guy is a pull through! (I can't remember the last time I used that insult, and I can't remember exactly what it means, it just feels right!)

Murray Mexted rates him as a second rate referee. This is probably fair, but I wouldn't want him in charge of a NPC game, so maybe he is 3rd rate. Interestingly enough, he shows one similar trait to Derek Bevan, in that he gives penalties for obscure reasons.

He did appear to play a reasonable amount of advantage, but in the end he ruined the game more than the players did (ie: his fumbles outnumbered the forwards'). And as for the side line "forward pass", what sort of distorted view of life does this guy have!

I wasn't exactly pleased at the end of the game, and now I think about it, I'm not sure whether is was the lack of finishing from the ABs, or that they had many promising moves snuffed out by Ed.

I hope that Ed Morrison isn't ref'ing in the same World Cup group as Andre Watson, and that he doesn't get anywhere near a Semi, or the Final.

Please, please, please... Pretty please with chocolate sprinkles!!


Let us know what you think!

Morcambe and Wise, Blackadder and Baldrick, Jeeves and Wooster, Ed and Derek, continuing the find tradition of Bristish comedy duos.

I must say their whistle gag is getting a bit tired though!

Supposedly this article has been viewed times since we bothered to start counting*.
(Although it could have just been on the Reload button doing some serious ego padding!)